I simply tell you the things that are on my mind & Educate you about the adventures of my life.
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
BEST PUNS EVER.
HE’S BREAD, JIM.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO TUMBLR IS KILLING ME TODAY
Tumblr people are hilarious
(Source: secretsbest, via you-make-every-second-worth-it)
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